A Mother's Heart

Zep 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
Our 17 year old, Tanner and a friend of his, have been talking about and planning on going backpacking in the Rockies for the last two weeks. He has given me material to read to make me more comfortable with the idea. I have read every word of the printouts. He was warming me up to the idea. My husband, his father, knows Tanner is fully capable and does not live in fear like most moms do when it comes to our children. I too, know that Tanner is very capable to survive on his own in the wilderness. However, I don’t like it! I won’t be there to protect him from stupid mistakes, like leaving out food for the bears to smell or making sure his fire is out so he does not burn down the forest and end up in handcuffs! Or dehydrate, drink unsanitary water, get eat up by mosquitoes, encounter wild vicious animals, get lost, struck by strong mountain lighting and my list continues.
What do I do? Not let him experience something he has his heart set on, something maybe God is using to prepare him for his future? Tell him no, to protect my heart. I keep thinking about the 16 year old young lady that is a well trained sailor. Recently , her parents allowed her to attempt to circle the world on her sail boat ALONE! Stupid or trusting? I don’t have the answer for that. I have been following her blog, she would not trade that trip for anything. She has the experience of a lifetime. It could have ended in tragedy but so could driving to the store! There was a young man, I read about in our local newspaper last year, he had served two tours in Afghanistan and was finished with his duties to our country, he arrived home to Steamboat Springs CO. , had not been home a week and was shoveling snow, fell, hit his head and died instantly. I think about the young lady from MI. that was, just this past week, on vacation in Estes Park CO. at the end of town, standing in an open space, a huge rock fell and killed her. I understand these things are not uplifting however, this is where my mind has been the last few days. Tragedy can happen in the safest places.
He and his friend, Hayden, just left. It is my wedding anniversary today, 19 years. My husband is home today and our other son and his friend are upstairs, still sleeping. No one is concerned, but me, no one is giving it any thought. I told Tanner and a close friend that I would turn this over to God and trust and not think about it in a negative light and I will wait till he gets home in four days. Wait for my phone call on their way back (there is sketchy cell service in the Rockies). I can’t imagine the families that wait on their children to come home from war, from running away, from going missing. Mine just went backpacking! I will survive and so will he! I will not worry, I will trust and anticipate the stories and pictures (if they don’t lose my camera!) when they return in four days.
Act 27:34 Now I urge you to take some food. You need it to survive. Not one of you will lose a single hair from his head." I might! But he won’t.
My friend Anne in Houston, told me one time that we are protecting ourselves from heart ache not just trying to protect our children. This is so true. I don’t want to be so self absorbed with worry that our boys don’t get to experience life because of my fear. So be it!

Just when I finished writing this post, Tanner called, they are at the entrance to the Rockies, had bought thier back packing pass and their "bear can" a requirment to get in. It is to keep food and food trash in. They sounded so excited. I can't wait to post pictures next week.